Communicating Is An Art

By Beth Carter, Carter Consultants Ltd.

One must understand that communication is multi-faceted and that people communicate on many levels.  Nonverbal communications are actually more critical than the spoken word.  The whole concept of social media adds an element to the communications dynamic that one needs to not only understand but to embrace to communicate properly in today’s world.  Younger generations are especially prone to being misunderstood by older managers in the workforce and need to keep in mind that “actions speak louder than words.”  Listed below are nonverbal methods that one uses to communicate and should be given as serious a thought as one would when they speak.

• Facial expressions can best be described by the quote “a picture is worth a thousand words”.  The way a person wrinkles their forehead, smiles or frowns, etc. can be the opposite of what the speaker is saying.  Good eye contact is advantageous because it conveys interest and credibility; this is very true when a company is interviewing a candidate or a leader is meeting with their staff.

• A person’s energy level can be perceived by the way they use inflections, pitch, and rhythm.  It is imperative that the person not only speaks succinctly but also knows when to pause, etc. especially when they are trying to make a point or defend their position.

• Hand gestures and body movement can communicate happiness, tension, and other types of feelings.  If one is trying to show interest, be cognizant of the position of your body in the chair (shoulders should be square to the other person), lean a bit forward and when standing, stand erect but not rigid.

• Touch and personal space can be useful forms of communication but they can also be the most misunderstood.   When meeting someone, it is customary in our country to greet the person with a handshake.  Both people should extend their entire hand when shaking but it is surprising how many people (especially women) use only their fingers; the hand has many sensory endings and it is one of the only times a person has physical contact with another human being.  In addition, personal space must be carefully watched; different cultures can place greater emphasis on how much space should be between two people.  Insecure people or people who are trying to avoid confrontation tend to prefer greater space too.

• A less realized form of communication is dress.  Since many companies no longer require suits, employees can express their individuality and “the message of who they are” through the types of clothes and accessories they wear.  Unfortunately, too many times some employees take this too far and are thus viewed as less serious about their work. 

Although most articles on nonverbal communications do not address this area, it needs to be discussed - empathic listening.  Stephen Covey’s book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” states that most people do not listen to truly understand the speaker but listen with the intent to reply.  How many times did you have in your head what you wanted to say so that you missed what the other person was saying?  According to Covey, there are four levels of listening – ignoring, pretending, selective listening and empathic listening (the type of listening where one is truly making an effort to understand the speaker).  By choosing the latter, a better dialogue is achieved and both parties will have a higher level of sensitivity toward the other person and thus will be heard.

Effective communication needs to be a constant area of practice regardless of the setting.  Business leaders recognize that verbal, written, and nonverbal communication needs to be in sync in order to convey a consistent message. 

You can reach Beth at beth.carter@gssocx.com

Carter Consultants Ltd. provides individual and group coaching services tailored for executives, soon-to-be executive, job seekers, and small business owners.  In addition, we offer unbundled research and recruiting services including handling any and all aspects of name generation and candidate development for a variety of industries and functions. Additional services include resume writing and workshops.